My baby girl, my last of our six children, has started school. Caitlyn, my buddy, helper companion during the day started pre-school last week. My husband and I took her for her first day. A couple of tears before we left were all she shed. Then she was smiling and excited to see what this new adventure would bring. We took the first of many pictures in front of the tree that we planted the day that my youngest son Joshua started Kindergarten and then we were off.
We signed her in. Walked into the classroom to find her cubby and nametag. We each gave her a hug and kiss and snapped a couple more pictures....and that's when she saw it. The Play-Doh. Pink Play-Doh to be exact. Pink Play-Doh AND cookie cutters. Well that was it. That was the moment she engaged in her new class and didn't look back. Literally she didn't look back. She completely forgot about Mommy and Daddy. My husband looked at me finally and said "Well. I guess we should go" and with that MY tears started. Thankfully he whisked me off to breakfast which kept my tears to a minimum.
Now I will spend my days alone. I'm not sure how to feel about it. On one hand there is this great sense of pride that I have this beautiful little girl who is intelligent, strong and confident and ready for to take this step in her life. On the other is this sense of longing for something that is gone forever. That special time between birth and school that we get to spend daily with each of our children. The companionship from my precious children who have looked to me to provide for all of their needs and whose companionship breaks up the monotony of each day's chores, errands and cooking. That is what I'm missing. My role has now changed.
I don't yet know how this will change what used to be a very comfortable routine. Maybe I'll go back to work, maybe finish some of those "Someday/Maybe" projects that from time to time crossed my mind, maybe spend some more time with my mommy friends. I'm sure there are other possibilities I've not yet thought of. Time will tell. What I do know is that like that little girl who is playing with pink Play-Doh as I write this, I too am intelligent, strong and confident and I'm ready for to take step this step in my life and so the adventure of my life continues....